My Personal Story & Low-Carb Journal

The Early Years

When I was a child, I was thin. My Aunt Ruby, who was our housekeeper and baby-sitter for me and my siblings, always told me I was "skin and bones." That began to change, however, as I went through my high school years. I began to plump up a bit.

By the time I entered college in 1971, I weighed around 220 pounds at 6'-2" in height. I was not obese, but I was fairly chubby. Still, I considered myself active. Although I didn't play on any sports team, I did play a lot of tennis and was referee for intramural football and basketball games at college.

I didn’t gain a lot of weight during my college years, though I did tend to eat a lot. My activity level probably prevented me from gaining more than I otherwise would have. By the time I was out of college, I weighed about 240 pounds.

While in college, I majored in biology. My career goal was to become a science teacher. That goal was realized shortly after I graduated, in 1975. I began teaching at a small rural school in Indiana. During this time, I became somewhat less active, and my weight began to increase a bit.

I got married in 1977. I weighed about 250 pounds at the time.

Then, in the summer of 1980, I lost about 20 pounds because I had trouble swallowing food. I was concerned that I had developed cancer, but it turned out to be a hiatus hernia. The symptoms gradually eased, although I didn’t eat anything solid for several months, unless I forced myself to chew it up into a fine mush.

Putting on the Weight

Gradually, however, my weight came back on. I had changed schools in 1979 to a small town in Northwest Indiana. As I returned at the beginning of each school year for teacher orientation, we all would sit in the auditorium while we listened to the trainer. I began to notice that the auditorium seats were getting smaller and smaller each year! Of course, it was really just me getting fatter.

In 1990, I weighed about 365 pounds. Yes, in ten years, I had gained 125 pounds!

It was in that year that I got bored with teaching and moved back down to my hometown of Edinburgh, Indiana. I eventually got a job as a news writer for the local weekly newspaper. It was also over the next three years that I gained even more weight, eventually ending up at just about 400 pounds. I never actually saw the scale go to 400, because I seldom weighed myself. It was depressing. But I did see it at 389, and I know I gained a few more pounds after that.

Learning to Live with Diabetes

It was then, in 1993, at the age of 40, that I found out I had diabetes.

My mouth was always dry. I developed a polyp-like sore on my lower gum, and my eyesight was starting to get a bit blurry at times. I decided to test my urine with one of those home tests and the test strip became as dark as it could get.

I went to the doctor the next day, after fasting the rest of that day. My blood sugar was 224. The doctor put me on an 1800-calorie-per-day diet. I was worried and frightened about my condition, so I followed it rigorously.

It actually worked well for awhile. I lost about 50 pounds over the course of about six months, and my blood sugar came back down to normal.

Then, the holidays hit and I began to eat a bit more sweets. After testing my blood sugar again, I found that it remained low, even after a meal high in carbohydrates and sugar. I was foolish enough to think I was cured.

It was only a year later that my symptoms returned. I took my blood sugar again and discovered it was high. So, reluctantly, I started the same diet again. And, yes, I had managed to gain most of the weight I had lost back. I was 376 pounds in 1994.

This time, however, although I did start losing weight again, the blood sugar stayed too high. The doctor put me on Glucophage. Eventually, I was taking the maximum dosage.

Losing weight didn’t seem to help this time, so I figured why bother. I went off my diet. But instead of gaining weight, I actually continued to lose at the rate of about 1-1/2 pounds per month for more than a year. The doctor said that diabetics often lose weight even though they continue to be hungry.

I asked him, “If diabetes is exacerbated by obesity, yet it causes slow weight loss, won’t I reach a time when my weight will come down so much that the diabetes will go away?” He replied, “No, it doesn’t work that way. You’ll lose just so much, then you’ll just feel lousy.” He was right. I lost down to about 335 pounds, then I began to gain again.

In the mean time, my energy level was zero and my blood pressure was high. I was on two blood pressure medications--a diuretic and a beta-blocker. My cholesterol was, surprisingly, not too high. It was 205.

Panic Strikes

During the years just prior to the time I found out about my diabetes, and then continuing afterward, I began having panic attacks. My first one came in 1991. It about scared me to death!

If you’ve never had a panic attack, you probably won’t understand it, but they are about the scariest things that most people ever have happen to them.

They are difficult to describe. When I have an attack, I usually start by getting light headed. My breathing and heart rate increase and I feel like I am about to pass out. I start look around for a soft place to fall. I get flushed and very weak. The weirdest part, and the most difficult to explain to someone who has never had one, is that the rest of the world begins to look almost surreal, or unreal. It’s not that my eyes are out of focus or anything; it’s just that I feel as though I’m looking at everything through someone else’s eyes.

An attack might last from a few seconds to a few minutes. After the attack passes, I get really nervous and shaky.

Sometimes, instead of having full-blown panic attacks, I would feel a high level of anxiety, accompanied by dizziness, weakness, and palpitations. These anxiety/panic attacks went on for several years. They would seem to come in clusters, during which time I would have several per month. At other times, I may go several months without having one.

I got to the point where I was afraid to do anything or go anywhere that I thought would set off an attack. They seemed to be triggered by changes in light levels. I was especially vulnerable when I went shopping at the supermarket or at places like Wal-Mart. If I stayed in the supermarket for more than a few minutes, I would almost certainly have a panic attack.

Then, in January of 1999, I went to the doctor for an unrelated condition. I had started having severe abdominal pains that spread to the back and sides. The doctor said it was most likely gallstones or an ulcer. He made an appointment for me to have an ultrasound, but it was three weeks away, and by then I was feeling better, so I skipped it. But my blood results were not good. My blood glucose was 214 and my hemoglobin A1c was 11.2. My doctor prescribed a second oral diabetes medicine.

In the mean time, I found out that my HMO was no longer under contract with my current doctor, so I had to change physicians.

A New Direction -- Low-Carb Lifestyle

So, in June of 1999, I made my first appointment with my new doctor. After reviewing my medical history, he suggested that I try the Atkins low-carb diet. So, I bought the book and read it through. A week later, I started the Atkins diet.

Within the first two weeks, my blood glucose level was below 100. After a month, my blood pressure was normal, on medication. So my new doctor decreased my dosage of both my blood pressure medication and my diabetes medication. Eventually, he took me completely off my diabetes medication.

Over the next eight months, I lost 32 additional pounds while eating lots of meat, eggs, and cheese. I did not “cheat” by eating any breads, cereal, potatoes, or sweets during this time. I had one small peanut butter cookie during a family reunion in September, one tablespoon of cornbread stuffing for Thanksgiving, and three small chocolate chip cookies on Christmas Day. That was the extent of my cheating. I really didn't need to cheat, because I had lost almost all cravings for high-carb foods. For years, my favorite side dish was potatoes. But I didn't care if I ever ate a potato again!

My energy was back; my blood sugar was in check without medication, and my blood pressure had returned to normal with reduced medication. My cholesterol was 162 and my triglycerides had dropped from 195 to 75.

I could actually go walking with my kids! Before, I was scared to walk more than a block or so, because walking seemed to bring on panic attacks. But during the entire time I was eating low-carb, I didn’t have a single panic attack.

Backsliding

But, in March of 2000, I became discouraged that I had not lost any weight since before Christmas. I decided to do a low-carb restart by going completely off the diet for one day, and then restarting at the Atkins induction level of 20 grams of carbs per day.

I really enjoyed myself on March 1. I ate things I hadn’t eaten in months, including Long John Silver’s fish, McDonald’s Big Mac with bun and fries, and a bowl of cereal. I topped off my day with a big slice of cream pie and a glass of milk!

The next day, I restarted--or at least that was the plan. I did fine until late in the afternoon when the chocolate chip cookie bag got to me. The entire 8 months prior to that, it hadn’t bothered me at all; now I couldn’t resist.

I did fairly well the following month, until we went on vacation. But then I found myself “cheating” a little more as weeks went by. I kept telling myself, “Tomorrow I’ll restart.” With good intentions, however, “tomorrow” never came.

My weight started to come back on and my blood sugar was creeping higher. I would go low-carb for a few days at a time before I would find some excuse to cheat again. I kept telling myself that the diet was extremely healthy for me in every respect even if I never lost another ounce of weight, but nothing seemed to keep me from cheating.

Starting Fresh

As I write this, it is July, 2000. I spent last weekend eating regular. By regular, I don’t mean gulping regular cola and chomping candy and snack cakes. I just mean eating a hot dog at the county fair with the bun, and eating some baked beans. I also ate some biscuits and gravy for breakfast.

Now, this week, thanks to some good advice I picked up on the Low-Carb Support Newsgroup, I started taking supplements of L-Glutamine to help prevent carb cravings and I have restarted Atkins induction level again. I have high expectations that I will succeed this time. I have to, because my health depends upon it.

I wrote this personal account because I want everyone to realize that dieting is not always easy--even low-carb dieting. It’s true that you don’t have to restrict your food intake on low-carb. But you do have to severely restrict your intake of carbohydrates. And since almost every food item in the grocery store contains carbs, it is a continual struggle to find a wide variety of foods that have few or no carbs.

The single most important piece of advice that I can give a person who has been on a low-carb diet and who is being successful on it, is to always be aware that cheating is dangerous!

Some people have planned "breaks" from their diet for special occasions. And that's fine as long as you realize there is a danger there. Once you take that first bite of a high-carb goodie, your cravings may return worse than they ever were before you started the diet.

Starting a low-carb diet the second time around is much more difficult than starting it the first time.

Compare 6 months before low-carb with 6 months after
December, 1998	December, 1999

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My Low-Carb Journal

• July 17, 2000 -- I restarted Atkins induction level today, again. My weight was back up to 324, a gain of 20 pounds this year.
  
  
• July 27, 2000 -- Weight: 319. After 10 days, I'm still on induction and have not cheated, and I've lost 5 pounds! It must be the L-Glutamine working, because I feel the same as I did the first time I started Atkins, with no carb cravings! All my interim restarts wouldn't last more than two or three days without a cheat.
  
  
• August 4, 2000 -- I got my blood test results back from the lab today and they were great! My total cholesterol was only 147. HDL was 50; LDL was 83; triglycerides were 74, and glucose was 91. I did have two small dietary indiscretions this past week and I may have put on some poundage because of it. I won't weigh myself until tomorrow when I see the doctor.
• August 5, 2000 -- Ok, my weight went back up a bit. I'm now 320. My doctor suggested I take 600 mcg of Chromium supplement daily.
  
  
• August 15, 2000 -- I went off my diet big time last Friday and Saturday. I paid for it Saturday night with my first panic attack in well over a year. Sunday was a self-imposed day of cleansing. I did a fat fast for 24 hours, consuming nothing all day except olive oil and flax seed oil. I've been back on LC this week. So far, so good.
  
  
• August 19, 2000 -- Weight: 317. I've gone a week back on induction and it's paid off. I lost 6 pounds from last week when I pigged out on carbs.
  
  
• September 21, 2000 -- It's been awhile since I posted an entry in my online journal, mainly because I have nothing particularly positive to report. It's been pretty steady. Last week, the Fall Festival was in town, so the diet was on hold. I'm back on this week. I go to the doctor Saturday, and I'll post my results.
  
  
• October 21, 2000 -- Sorry for the long delay in posting to my journal. My weight has been up a few pounds lately. However, I have gotten rid of most of my carb cravings after a week-long re-start. I went to a family birthday dinner at our local buffet today and I didn't cheat! My blood pressure was really good this week: 117/78. I'm going to hop back on the scales tomorrow. I haven't checked it for over a week, because I knew it would be bad news. I'm more optimistic now.
  
  
• October 22, 2000 -- Well, I weighed myself today. After gaining up somewhere above the 330 mark (my scales don't go any higher), I'm back down to 325 today. All it took was avoiding the carbs AND cutting way back on the amount of sugar-free chocolate I was consuming!
  
  
• October 26, 2000 -- I had baked swordfish and prime rib with asparagus today for lunch. We had a Business and Industry Council luncheon meeting, so the food was free! But for dessert, they had this yummy cheesecake with chocolate chips and whipped cream. Yes, I had a little. But, I must confess that I think I've come to a realization... Once upon a time, if I cheated, I would get mad at myself, feel guilty, and then I would call the whole day ruined because of it. Since the day was ruined, I always would say, "I'll restart tomorrow in earnest." But tomorrow would never come, or if it did, it wouldn't last long. Lately, however, I treat each cheat as an isolated incident. It doesn't ruin the whole day, or even the whole meal. It's just one incident that I can forget about and go on the rest of the day eaating as though I had not cheated at all. No more restarts the next day. I've come to the conclusion that I am definitely going to cheat every once in a while, so I shouldn't beat myself up over it. I'll just stay low-carb all the rest of the time, and keep my cheats to a minimum during special occasions, like today.
  
  
• November 11, 2000 -- A visit to the doctor confirmed that the diet is still working in terms of making me healthier: normal blood pressure, great cholesterol numbers, and acceptable blood sugar readings. However, the weight is still not coming off. I'm thinking the culprit might be my prescription diuretics. But if I don't take them, my ankles swell up.
  
  
• December 11, 2000 -- Yea, I know it's been a month since I've posted anything. We had our Christmas family reunion in Kentucky last week, with a huge pitch-in dinner. I pigged out big time. Probably 90% of everything I ate was high-carb. But last Monday, I went back on low-carb. I checked my blood pressure and it was up. I checked my blood sugar on Wednesday after low-carbing for 3 days and it was normal, so a single high-carb binge doesn't have any long-term effects on my blood glucose. But my blood pressure is taking longer to get back to where I'd like it. And I still have Christmas and New Years to get through! Oh, BTW, I lost 6 pounds since my high-carb binge.
  
  
• January 5, 2001 -- I pretty much gave up on any kind of a diet over the holidays. I figured that if I went totally off a diet and just allowed myself to eat anything I wanted, it would make re-starting this month as easy as when I first started the LC way of eating back in June, 1999. So, for a couple of weeks, I had my way with food. I didn't even bother taking my blood glucose, because I knew it would return to normal once I went back on my diet. And ever since the day after New Years, I've been low-carbing. It hasn't been bad at all. I'm not really craving. But I know from experience that if I ever allow myself to cheat, the cravings will come back.
  
  
• January 24, 2001 -- It's been more than three weeks since the re-start. So far, so good. I've lost a litte weight, and my blood sugar is slowly returning to where it should be.

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